Today, my sister, Alexandra Susan Olga Toseland, got married.

Fucking awesome. Should probably mention I'm a wee bit pissed, but that's to be expected, so fuck you all.

It began early, around 8.15. My Dad was standing in my bedroom door, talking to me about something. My head was firmly in sleep-mode and frankly wanted him to fuck off and let me sleep. But I was aware that there was a coffee next to me, and that it was time to get up. It was the Wedding, and there was much to be done.

I ended up daydreaming about how strange it was for my Dad to even be there. Slight bit of family drama six years ago; he was thrown out.

At the time, my sister hated him. Really, literal hatred. But times change. We were driving back from...Northhampton, and she was only saying then how amazing it was to her that he'd be there on her wedding day, and what's more - she'd want him there.

Anyway, she came down the aisle. Slowly. Slowly. She was fucking beautiful. My sister, a vision, representing more than she could know.

For we've had our shite. We really have. I know we all like to think we all have 'our shite', but I'd agree with that. Because all families do. But when that service was going on, she was a beacon to all of us.
There is hope. There is a fucking future out there. And there is someplace, somewhere, somehow, something great waiting for us.

But before I go all Coelho on you, the music. That was my gig. Leading the band, so that's vocals and guitar. And yes, I know, Christian Rock is 'gay'. But fuck you all. Because it meant something to her. It meant a lot to her. It's her belief, and no fucking way will I stand in the way of her and a happy wedding day.

But I thought my voice might. I mean, sure, I can sing. But not necessarily in tune, and certainly not leading a fucking congregation. But it was fine. It was better than fine. I was up there, enjoying myself. And God Almightly, the praise afterwards - I struggled. There's only so many times you can say 'It's all the band, they are just that good, we couldn't have sounded bad, so thank them!' before you get a grin on your face from knowing you've actually done something well.

And to carry on along this route of sentimentality and whatnot, they're fucking awesome. Really, really were.

Just needed to record this. And the two hour pint with my dear Father, after the evening bit. Seems he stands to get no money from my dear Mother from the settlement. Well, he's fucked. Well and truly. The damn fool still loves her.

What an idiot...